Conflicted
by jsrsuperstar
Summary: She thought she did what she had to do, but Dean got the short end of the stick, just because his parents couldn't understand what he was or who he was.
1. Chapter 1

**I wanted to write a piece in the pov of Dean's mother. This is admittedly sad. Please get your tissues ready.**

**DTDTDTDTDTDTD **

_"Haley, he isn't normal! I have ignored this for far too long! People are starting to ask questions; questions that even we can't answer! Now I've had enough! Either I go...or he goes."_

_"What! Keith, you can't just expect me to get rid of my son!" The couple argued in the darkness that night offered. Haley's seven year old son always seemed to be their topic of conflict lately. Dean was...a different little boy._

_"You said it yourself, he's strange and it's not like you wanted him in the first place. That dead-beat ex of yours took off the day after he was born. I see how you have to sneak away to cry on his birthday. I thought I could get past that son of yours, but this is getting out of hand."_

_"So what? He's just a little different. There is nothing wrong with my baby boy!"_

_"A little different! You know that he made my mother's cat mysteriously vanish after it scratched him. And it wasn't just that incident! There have been too many of these coincidences where Dean has been involved with things that we can't begin to explain. It's not normal! Now as I said before, either I go or he will."_

_"You know I can't make it without you! We'll take him to see one of those nice therapists or we can take him to the church. What about your kids? How do you expect me to support them without you?"_

_"I dunno, Haley, just do what you were doing before you met me. I'm sure a few of your 'regulars' would love to know you're back in business." Haley was taken aback. If she didn't think she'd be over powered, she would have slapped Keith as hard as she possibly could._

_"Don't you dare throw that in my face!"_

_"I just don't want to go to sleep one night and never wake up because that demonic son of yours has killed us all. I wouldn't put it past him." There was silence between the couple for several moments. The tension in the room was so thick that it almost seemed tangible._

_"...I'll call my aunt in the morning and see what she can do. I think he should at least finish out this semester at school."_

_"No. He needs to leave by tomorrow."_

_"What? That's too soon! I'll never be able to find someone to take him in such a short amount of time!" A panic arose within her being. He couldn't just expect her to throw away the baby boy that she loved more than anything. The tears began to well up in her eyes. If she lost Dean, she would be losing a large chunk of herself as well. A large lump settled inside of her throat, preventing her from speaking any further._

_"You have 24 hours to get rid of him...or I will and you don't want me to do that. If you do it, you might have a chance to see him again someday."_

**Present Day**

"Mama! Where are we going? We've been driving for hours!"

"Just a little longer, Sweetie. Why don't you tell Mommy another one of your stories." I would do anything to keep him talking. I would lock his angelic voice into my memory forever. It took everything I had not to break down crying as I watched him through the rear-view mirror.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see, soon, ok baby."

"It's a surprise? Oh, I hope it's a good one! are we going to see Aunt Sarah?"

"No, not Sarah."

"Please tell me!"

"It will all be over shortly, Sweetheart."

"Ok, Mommy." I hated lying to my baby. He's only a child. I'm his mother, his sole protector. What the hell am I doing? I can just drive to my Aunt's house and I can raise Dean there, without Keith. No I can't. My other babies are still at home with him. Who knows what exactly he'd do to them. At least this way, I can save all of my babies. I just hope that one day Dean can forgive me for this. I can only pray that he'll find a good person to take him in. I'm going to come for him one day. I'll see him again.

We had been driving for 3 hours now. I saw the exit of the highway that I was looking for.

"We're here, now!" Dean asked excitedly from his spot in the back seat."

I couldn't answer him. My voice wouldn't have worked even if I tried.

I pulled into the supermarket parking lot.

"The supermarket? That's not a very good surprise, Mommy."

"C'mon then, Dean. " I had to do this. I had to have faith that he would be taken in by some nice couple that would give him every thing that I couldn't.

"Mommy, can I get a Popsicle?"

"Sure, but I want you to try and use the restroom first, ok?"

"Okay, Mommy."

"Take your back pack. Do you still have that envelope I gave you this morning?"

"Yep. It's still in my back pack."

"Good. Now give me a hug and a kiss, okay." I bent down too the level of my son.

"Mom! We're in public."

"I know, I just love you so much. Don't you forget it, okay?"

"I love you, too."

"Now go to the restroom. I'll be right here when you get out." I watched as he walked into that bathroom. My tears could not be contained. I quickly turned and hurried as quickly as I could out of the store and into my car. I sped out of the parking lot as fast as I could. My vision was blinded by tears. I just left my baby at a store. I prayed in my car that maybe Dean could forgive me one day and maybe he would be able to grow up in a loving household with parents that would treat him like the amazing person that I knew he was.

When I got home later, I was met with a firm, passionate kiss by Keith. The urge to vomit had never been more prominent in my life. When I went to take a shower, I sobbed because my sweet Dean was gone and I did it to him.

I knew that my life from that point on would consist of wondering what Dean was doing every second and if he was safe.

**DTDTDTDTDTDTDDTD**

**I hope you enjoyed reading. I have an epilogue planned. My creys could not be contained while writing this. **


	2. Epilogue

**Sorry it took so long for me to update, but here is the epilogue of Conflicted**

**DTDTDTDTDTDTDTDTDTDT**

Nothing looked familiar anymore. Mrs. Newton's Bakery was long gone. There were no traces of the park that I had often frequented as a child. If I didn't know the address, I would've thought that I was even on the right street. My wife, Romilda, sat in the backseat of the car with our 3 month-old son.

I didn't know if I was ready to do this. I told myself that I had forgiven my mother a long time ago, but now as I got closer and closer to her house, I felt a new wave of anger slowly come to the forefront of my being.

"Dean, you know we don't have to do this." Romilda whispered in her calm, soothing voice.

"I think I do."

It's been 16 years since I last saw my mother in that Supermarket. I never have forgotten that day as long as I have lived. I remember everything- what I was wearing, what she was wearing, and the sound of her voice as she told me that she'd always love me.

_I cried in a panic when I noticed my mother wasn't where she said she'd be. I searched frantically through the store for her. I probably had been looking for her for 15 minutes when the tears fell and I thought all hope was gone._

_A man with hair graying at the edges approached me, a girl in her teens followed closely behind him._

" _What's wrong, Little fellow?"_

"_I can't find my mum." I sniffled._

"_Would you like some help?" I nodded in acceptance. The man took me up to the cashier._

"_What's your mom's name?"_

"_Haley."_

"_Do you know her last name?"_

"_Thomas." I whispered. The cashier called her name and we waited several moments and no one by the name of Haley Thomas came to claim me._

"_My mommy told me to give this to an adult if I ever get lost." I handed the man that found me an envelope/ He opened it and read it. A look of concern crossed his comforting features._

_The man that had found me removed a stick like thing from his sleeve and whispered OBLIVIATE. The man then took my hand and walked swiftly out of the store._

"_Let go! Help! Stranger!"_

"_Shhh! Listen to me for a second, yeah?" the man said. "I know who you are and I know what you can do. I read the letter from your mom. I know you're scared and I want to help you."_

"_But-but- but my Mum. Where is she?"_

"_In her letter, she asked me to take you with me."_

"_When will she be coming to get me?"_

"…_We'll talk about this when we get to my house, alright?"_

"_ok." I slid into the backseat of the mini van. The man's daughter sat next to me. I assume her father let her read the letter, too._

"_Hi, I'm Kiley."_

"_Dean." I whispered_

_When I got to their home, they explained to me that I was a wizard, as were they. Kiley even did a simple spell to show mw what I would one day be capable of. They told me that my mother loved me and that she wanted them to watch me for awhile, while she straightened things out with my step father at home_

_I never really liked Keith, so I guess I could stay with these people for a few days._

_But days turned into a week. A week turned into a month. And the months turned to years._

_The Goldstone family was wonderful. They treated me like I was actually their son. They didn't get angry or hit me like Keith did when I accidently used magic._

_They actually taught me about what was happening to me._

_Kiley went off to a school called Hogwarts, where she was going into her sixth year. Slowly, I started referring to Mr. Goldstone as Pops, just like Kiley had done, and Mrs. Goldstone as Mama. Each time I said those words, they stung a little bit. A part of me still wished that one day my mother would pull up in front of their house and come to get me._

_As time went along, I started wishing that my mother wouldn't get me, because now the Goldstone's were my parents._

_When I was 11, I went to Hogwarts, where I had many wonderful adventures and met so many wonderful people. I met my best mate, Seamus. It turns out I was actually good at magic. The work came to be very easy for me. I had my share of relationships, but in my seventh year, I decided to go for it and asked Romilda Vane on a date._

_My mother still held a space in my heart, I realized. When Kiley got married and Mama teared up and looked so elated and full of love, I wondered if Romilda and I tied the knot, could my mother be there and feel the same way. I told Romilda about my birth mother and how she left me alone at that supermarket. Romilda, who is so sympathetic, held me in her arms and asked me if I would ever consider going to find my mother. I really couldn't answer her._

_Regardless of my birth mother's appearance at my wedding, I married Romilda and I have never been happier. She looked so beautiful. All of my friends were there and my mama and Pops were there, wishing me their best wishes._

_Married life was fun and beautiful. Romilda was everything I could ever ask for in a wife. I had married my best friend. We lived a spectacular life in sync with each other. I remember when Romilda greeted me after my long day at work. She was unusually quiet. When I asked her what was wrong, she lifted up her hand and showed me the results of her pregnancy test._

_I was going to be a father. My wife was going to give me a little life that I would be responsible for, a little life that held a part of my DNA…but also a part of her._

_Xavier Logan Thomas was born eight and a half months later, with bright brown eyes and all 10 fingers and ten toes. He was everything that I hoped he'd be. My mama and Pops were there, being the dedicated grandparents that they were. Pops actually shed tears when he looked at my small son, who was no larger than 5 pounds._

_I had let the absence of my birth mother eat at me for several years. I don't know why, but she still had some hold on me. She was still a part of me. I think all of this time, I had been afraid to see her, because I couldn't trust myself with what I might have possibly said to her. It was time. I was going to go look for her. I needed to find her; If just for closure._

I knocked on the door tentatively. Romilda was holding onto my elbow. The small gesture gave me more comfort than I ever imagined. I was almost hyperventilating with anticipation. Who was going to be on the other side of that door?

Finally after the longest three minutes of my life, the door was opened by a teenaged girl with braids and a lip piercing.

"Are you one of those missionaries? If so we don't need saving."

"Umm…no. I'm…" My breath was short. It was so surreal, I was staring into eyes that so resembled my own.

"Is your mother here? We'd like to speak with her." Romilda spoke up for me.

"Yeah, she's in the back. I'll get her. You can take a seat at the table if you'd like."

I walked into the dining room. Everything had changed.

"You'll have to excuse my daughter. I hope she wasn't rude. How may I-" My mother and I locked eyes at the same moment. Within seconds, tears were streaming down her worn-tired face. Those eyes that once used to be so full of life, had now dimmed to eyes that had seen so much hurt and pain.

"My Lord! It –You're- How is this? Dean? Dean, baby?"

"Ma'am it's me." She rushed over to me and grabbed me into her slender arms. She was sobbing, her tears fell onto the fabric of my shirt. I held onto her just as tightly.

"Do you-Will you?- I'm sorry. So so so so sorry." She cried

"I forgive you, Mommy. " I whispered. Her sobs escalated and her grip tightened.

"I always knew the Lord would bring you back to me." We stood in our soggy embrace for over thirty minutes. She couldn't let go and I didn't want her to.

The whimpers of Xavier brought my mother out of our little bubble.

"Mum, this is my wife, Romilda and my son, Xavier."

"You're…married?

"Yes."

"And, I'm a grandmother?"

"Yes."

"Hello, Mrs. Thomas. I'm so glad I finally get to meet you.' Romilda delicately shook my mother's hand.

We talked for hours. I met my other siblings and reunited with the two from my childhood. My mother explained to me why she did what she had to do. She told me how much it had hurt her to leave me like she did, but she wanted to give me a chance to live, without being judged. Keith had died 7 years back. He drank himself to death. Alcohol had been his demise. My mother said that she hoped to find me, but had no where to start. She thought that I wouldn't have wanted to see her.

I told her all about the Goldstone family that took me in and I explained to her what I was, what Romilda also was, and what Xavier would most likely be. She seemed a little hurt at first that I referred to the Goldstone's as my parents, but she realized that she lost that title 16 years ago.

The visit ended on good terms. My mother and I had a long way to go, before we could forget all of the hurt and pain that built a giant riff between us, but I had a wonderful family and I was willing to do anything to fix my relationship between my mother so she could be included in our lives.


End file.
